$821 million: the estimated cost of lost productivity to employees' office chatter about the Super Bowl (assuming that each person talks about it for 10 minutes a day for the week preceding and following the game).

$36,000: The money that I won't get at Ole Miss if I can't finish these essays for the Honors College and Croft Institute tonight. Wish me luck.

Two hydrogen atoms bumped into each other recently.
One said: "Why do you look so sad?"
The other responded: "I lost an electron."
Concerned, One asked "Are you sure?"
The other replied "I'm positive."